12 Weeks today!

Well the milestone that is 12 weeks has finally been reached!

I have felt terrible over the weekend too which is great! Espcailly becasue the midwofe could not find a heart beart on Thursday. So I am no doubt that I am still pregant! yeah!

I ahve been reading a great biook by a woman who had two baabies under 2, with an even smaller age gap than Syb aand DS! And she is so happy about being aMum and its scuh an uplifitng book. Very honest and she does go into detail about some of the horrid bits, btu on the whole I feel so positive about being a Mum again and giving birth!

I spent Thursday and Friday just with taykor. DP was working and I can honestly 100% hand on my heart say i am now enjoying every minute! Ok so when DS is not in a good mood and I cant work out exaclty what he wants I feel a bit less euphoric but on the whole being a Mummy is so fab!

I think in my heart it took me a while to completly get my heard round everything! Maybe thats because I didnt give birth, maybe its the same for Dads? I dont know but now I look at DS when I feeding him, dressing him,palying with him, watching him sleep....and I cant belive how lucky I am and how far from my past I now am. My life at different parts has been horrid but now this is the happist I have been.

I know it will be difficult when Syb is born but hey I know DP and I are strong to get through it and we can!

Well I will take my sickness and tiredness and go!

I have a few things that I want to remember before I go...........I can feel this strange sensation on my left side where the baby is...its strange. liek she is growing. I have felt it before and I thin it remids me that she is here with me! Last night it was almost painfull! I had a bath today and I am sure that mu tummy wont fit under the water anymore! Only very sltighlty but its there!

So thats my pregnancy update!

Bye for now!

11 Weeks and Im now 31!

So last week I turned 31 and I had the best day. I used to like going shopping but after I thought about the day I realised that now we have a child and we have to change our priorities things that we used to do I now cherish more than ever.

I just wanted to sit down and eat a Mc Donalds breakfast with the tv on and not feel guilty. I wanted to have a long bath and not worry that I had to get out quickly! So thats what I did and DS had to go to child minder. But I think he likes it there or am I justifying it! DP was happy for him to go too and we enjoyed the morning together. It was sunny and we took the dog for a walk and chatted as we do..about nothing mostly but laughing all the time. i remember we even had a chat about trains as we crossed the railyway track. I love the fact that we just talk and talk and its so easy and not forced.

I also saw a consultant and she has said that there is nothing they can do and as she said lots of times I am a varient of normal, which made u both smile!!!! So I have an extra scan at 28 weeks and I also see the consultant that day too. So its fingers crossed that my little baby grows and grows and stays sfe within me. It feels like such a responsibilty to do everything I can to make sure that Syb is safe.

I am worrying less and less now. I think thats why I was having problems not expressing myself. I think I go into myself so much when I worry and I know I shouldnt but thats how I cope I guess!?

So I saw my family over the weekend and this was good, I laughed so much at my brother, all he was doing was taking a matress upstairs and he just comes out with silly little sayings and I was trying to have a lie and I heard him and just started to laugh! He then called out Jennifer in the way that he does and he came in as I laughed!


Seeing Laura was good too and she was so pleased about Syb! She had no idea! Im disapointed in Tom, he seems so distant from us all at the moment.

Paul and Karen gae us a futon which has saved us so much and DP has now started on the attic, this makes her wife very happy!!!

I have not had much sickness, and I havent been that tired, which worries me and tomorrow I am going to the midwife and hopfully we can hear the heart beat, I know I will cry if we do and I am praying all the time that we do.

I am then meeting all our Gueisley friends for lunch, this is really important to me and I am so glad I am freinds with them too.

So I shall update tomorrow and see if Syb is still ok! I just know she is, I feel her. Deep inside me, growing and we all ready love each other. I just know DP and DS do too!

Sickness

Well, morning sickness has deffinatly arrived! I am not feeling to well at all. Luckly over the last few days I have been able to have afternoon naps to get rid of it and also because I have been so tired!!!!!!

We went to DP's mothers for lunch yesterday which is normally ok but what made it better was that I ended up feeling awful after lunch and MIL was sweet enough to tell me to go and nap! So I got to have 2 hours sleep whilst we were there! I didnt think that she was taken with me but she seems genuienly pleased that I am going to have a baby!

Work is awful, everyone that I like or frieinds with has now left. So I left with people that are not horrid just not people I like. Sometimes they can be horrid. Like the comments today about my George Micheal tickets, these people are supposed to be all inclusive and they just aren't sometimes. So not only am I sat there feeling sick and tired and i cant tell anyone yet and Im with people I dont like!!!!

So moan, moan moan!

On a lighter note....Im 31 on Wednesday! EEK! Not sure how that leaves me feeling! Im ok really! Cant do anything about it and I am so happy I am going to have a baby that I'm sure that I dont care!

We are off to see my brother this coming weekend and I m really looking forward to seeing him and spending time down south, I love being around my family. We spend so much time up here, its lovely to see them.

Well, I am going to go....I think Ive summed up all thats going on...Im sick, tired, nearly older and happy to be getting fatter! Although I must just remind myself that even when I have eaten I still feel sick and my boobs still really hurt!!!! I want to remember everything!

Sickness

Well, morning sickness has deffinatly arrived! I am not feeling to well at all. Luckly over the last few days I have been able to have afternoon naps to get rid of it and also because I have been so tired!!!!!!

We went to DP's mothers for lunch yesterday which is normally ok but what made it better was that I ended up feeling awful after lunch and MIL was sweet enough to tell me to go and nap! So I got to have 2 hours sleep whilst we were there! I didnt think that she was taken with me but she seems genuienly pleased that I am going to have a baby!

Work is awful, everyone that I like or frieinds with has now left. So I left with people that are not horrid just not people I like. Sometimes they can be horrid. Like the comments today about my George Micheal tickets, these people are supposed to be all inclusive and they just aren't sometimes. So not only am I sat there feeling sick and tired and i cant tell anyone yet and Im with people I dont like!!!!

So moan, moan moan!

On a lighter note....Im 31 on Wednesday! EEK! Not sure how that leaves me feeling! Im ok really! Cant do anything about it and I am so happy I am going to have a baby that I'm sure that I dont care!

We are off to see my brother this coming weekend and I m really looking forward to seeing him and spending time down south, I love being around my family. We spend so much time up here, its lovely to see them.

Well, I am going to go....I think Ive summed up all thats going on...Im sick, tired, nearly older and happy to be getting fatter! Although I must just remind myself that even when I have eaten I still feel sick and my boobs still really hurt!!!! I want to remember everything!

Bad Blogger

Well I'm a bad blogger and the thing that I really wanted to do was make sure that I kept upwith it so I could remeber everything about my pregnancy!

So this is just today and then on Sunday I am going to sit down and write lots and lots about the last week. or so. Well it will turn out to be two weeks by then!

So her is todays news!

I am nto well and havent been since last week really. Ive had a cold which to varying degress we all have.

DS has been the worse and he has been really poorly, I had to have yesterday off and DP is off today.

He has been sick since Sunday and has had two visits to the doctors. I have been really emotional about it, I think that its a mixture of my pregnancy and also just the fact that I really love him and dont want him to be so ill.

You just want to hug him and make sure that he is ok but sometimes he just pushes us away! He is funny like that!

I have had little syb niggles as I call them! Just little pains on the left side where I know she is.

I like feeling it, I dont think that it means anything is wrong. I really want to feel done with worrying. I want to enjoy watching my body and my baby grow.

So from here on in thats my new resolution, not so much new year just a new pregnancy one!

I also spoke to my Dad today and my step mother, she seemed interested in how I was doing which is nice. I want to tell Mum so badly that I am going to give birth to the grandchild she never thought she would have and that I am already a mummy. I feel down about it so badly sometimes and have to push it away. For some reason, I am feeling lots of emotions and I dont feel like showing them.

I am not sure if I have always been like this with DP but I am at the moment. Strange and I have no answers.

Well...anyway. I am seeing Dad on the 18th and then they are hopefully coming up for DS first birthday!

Yeah!